The Solemnity of Being Solitude

You are sitting at a favorite coffee-shop of yours. None of companion you have, only a novel which has caught your attention for the whole week. Then, you just realized that the room is almost full of people. It is Friday night so it would be unsurprising if most of them mingle and have a loud conversation —and somehow, you feel the unexplained feeling that make you smile even there is no one you can share it with. Or, in the other corner of the room, you will see a girl who tries to flirt with the one of football players next her table. Subsequently, on the other Friday night, you will see the same girl sits with the boy she tried to flirt with. The boy holds her hands and they are vividly looked like a new love-bird. You assume that they finally have figured something out about them while you are still with your latte and another book. And yet here too, the anonymous crowd gives you an enchanting feeling of your solitude.

Such an irony it is when you actually could see the things clearly when you are all by yourself. Being a zoon politicon ―as Aristotle once said as the basic shape of human being ― to go socialize with others might not be as beneficial as its seem. This post is actually going to be my kind of personal note instead of such an enlightenment phrases or so. Because some people might enjoy their time alone while others might enjoy any thought with their companion―even with the strangers (I will choose the first one, though).

1) “Sometimes the choice is easy, but the consequences are painful.” —Alice Koller

Let us all admit it that we do need time to rethink our decision we had. Being solitude sometimes will give us the time to  re-embrace all the pain we tried to conquer and the happiness we merely spent. I, myself, would love to go some places where I don’t even know the exact way to go. Because the point is actually not to go to the place, but some traffic jam and the people around to keep me sane while I’m trying to take decision without any interruption which someone could give. Having some discussions with the people who are capable in their field —and mostly you will trust them in the very first place— are lovely of course, yet what is so fun for never taking the wrong decision in your life and solving the problem by your own? As Koller has said in her book, the pain in every choice sometimes would be the unbearable one, just like any other consequences in every decision. Because, my dear, isn’t it something that make a human human to take a decision and sometimes, to regret it?

2) You do have the time to explore your mind and not become the spoiled creature one.

If you ever observe and feel wonder about how God perfectly created the universe even for the tiniest thing you barely see, you are actually on the right track. The explosion of curiosity which has been powerfully developed by our renaissance era thought us those things we see are not actually the same as what our lenses describe it. The Big Bang theory which is described as our universe birthday and also the notion of “The Flat World” and the geocentric model which have been believed for centuries indeed influenced our early scientist to reveal the truth. Being the center of anything once made human thought that there was no actually any possibility for other postulates ahead but the post-dead life which frankly declared toward the society.

Our descendants who made assumption to make a brighter life by using their imagination about their surrounding have taught us to keep the light through the books and any possible things they could have made. But now, in our incredibly awesome —or frightening— medias and technologies,  where we barely see no boundaries around, how come that we still only describe the world(s) as something we just could only see with our naked-eyes and the lens of our phone? Being the spoiled creature, no?

I always hate it when there are actually so many things about the unknown knowledge which I have never heard. I do take my time to think about it. Having such a time to explore my curiosities and recklessly arranging theories—even the lamest one, then, doubting anything I assume without proof. Being alone do give me the time to recognize about the questions I try to find out the answers and about every secret the world hides from me.

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3) Because it is okay to take the time to take pity on yourself.

Well, may be not so many people take their time to what I call as a remembrance-that-you-are-still-a-human moment. I used to think that I was strong enough to do or take any risk. Not that I am not, yet, to show your weakness and feelings aren’t a sin. You probably find yourself gathering around with people who make you hardly smile. Or, you did something which made you regret and even further, you thought that you could do nothing and being the useless one. It is okay for me to take those kind of time. To regret, to take pity on yourself, and  to clearly think again what we have done before.  I did once or twice, though. All and all, not to boast around, for the nineteen years of my life I feel that I always bravely take every the consequences of my decision. Yet, the pain and the one which was particularly hurt me the most was actually when I couldn’t forgive myself for taking the wrong decision. As simply as remembrance my dear, you always have the time to forgive yourself for anything you couldn’t perfectly do and to rethink again anyone whom you barely could make them smile.

4) You are in a blissfully unending dialogue.

Some people think that the most romantic thing is when you could finally meet someone—or soulmate(?)— who entirely knows and understands what you think and what you want. Period. I don’t say that it is such a wrong conception, but I just can’t stand with it. I believe that this is actually the point of having any relationship between human is to learn each other perspectives and to communicate what we actually think is something what supposed the relationship fights for. Yet, is the communication between two heads or hearts briefly enough to solve the problems ahead?

Human and all their adorable mindsets have showed us for centuries that desire, passion and thought undoubtedly COULD change the world. Let’s see Soekarno, Hitler, Shakespeare, Kartini, Kennedy and other great persons we had.  The unending and a lifetime dialogue with their own-self to reflect what their inner voice wanted did showed the result. A great communication skill —through the words, pictures or any possible ways— is one of the factor why people I mention above are being the inspirational one for those who admire them. Dear my friends, I bravely assume that Soekarno did an awesome job not just because he could describe what Pancasila was to PPKI back there. But, he actually knew what Indonesia needed, what he really wanted to do, and what kind of possible way he could take. He knew who he was and such a brave himself to show his ideas. Remember when Soekarno was in exile and sat down under the Sukun tree and tried to propose our  Pancasila? Isn’t it beautiful to let yourself  and your mind wander around, have a peaceful time and do have an unending dialogue with your own? And isn’t it enchanting to finally feel grateful for the absence of others and recognize the presence of yourself?

At the end of all, it is all your decision to take what kind of way you will take to get to know anything you want to know better. Being solitude or with the peers, it is all you who will learn.

***

(P.s: I am really getting into this series lately and waiting for another session. If you look for any interesting topic or want to know about our great descendant, you may take the time to enjoy it like I do.)
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